Agony
by screamingknight
Summary: "I know that's what people say- you'll get over it. I'd say it, too. But I know it's not true. Oh, you'll be happy again, never fear. But you won't forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him."


" _Let your body relax...That stress you feelin', just let it the fuck go. I got you. I won't let anything happen to you." His long fingers traced her bruised lips. "Let me help you forget for awhile. Let me…" His words trailed off. His fingers wrapped around her wrist and placed them over her head gingerly. He was always gentle with her. Always acting like she could break any second. His lips found hers, tongue tracing the small cut that ran diagonally on her bottom lip._

 _He could always calm her mind, but never her heart. Especially once his lips found her collar bone. She clutched the pillow as he started rolling up her tank top. His tongue ran down her abdomen to her navel. "Relax baby." His lips vibrated as they kissed below. Getting lower and lower..._

Nina's eyes opened slowly. They itched and burned from lack of sleep. She kept having the same dream over and over again. Kept seeing the same eyes over and over again. She huffed herself up and swung her legs over and off of the bed. "Come on Nina, get up and go to work." She lifted herself off of the bed and made her way to the bathroom.

Her apartment wasn't very big. It consisted of peeling paint, revealing brick wall underneath. A dark hardwood floor a small old school bathroom and a regular kitchen. It wasn't something special. The only thing Nina actually liked was the large windows. She tried to lighten up the place with strung up lights and plants, but it only made her place look like a hipsters wet dream.

The tiles were cold under her bare feet as she stripped off her pajamas and undid her braid. She felt off. Something in her chest tightened and made her feel weird. Like she couldn't eat even if she wanted to.

She quickly showered and got dressed in her scrubs. She put her hair up into a messy bun and smacked her cheeks. She was pale. Marcy would know she didn't sleep. She would make a fuss and Nina would have to make an excuse as to why she wasn't sleeping.

"Okay we got asthma attack in room five, A woman needing stitches on her forearm room three, and Mr. Herbert complaining about his catheter being to, and I quote, 'To far up there'." Lorraine dropped the files on the nurse station where Marcy and Nina sat drinking coffee. "If you two take Mr. Herbert I'll let you guys off on the guy who just came in."

"What guy? We didn't hear anything?"

"That's cause The Bobbsey twins got to him first. He just got here and I need good eyes and hands on him." The older woman lifted her glasses towards her clipboard and read the name slowly, pronouncing the name with lack of empathy. "Lyndon Johnson Rosales. Poor guy decided to jump out of a window after two D.T's chased him in his own apartment. He's heading into surgery with a skull fracture, some broken ribs, and a banged up face. The two detectives are looking for that missing girl."

"That Rosie Larson girl?"

"That's what I hear."

"Jee-zus. What rooms Mr. Herbert in again?" Marcy dropped her empty coffee cup into the trash and grabbed one of the files.

"Six. Make sure he doesn't get handsy again." Lorraine looked to Nina who was staring at the clock for the fifth time today. "What about you Perez? Which room will you take?"

"Chick with the stitches?" She rubbed her eyes before sighing and standing up.

Lorraine handed her a file and grinned. "She's the detective that ran Rosales out of his own apartment. Have fun her partners there. Nice on the eyes too." She chuckled and walked away.

"Damn cougar is starting to get bold." Marcy shook her head and peaked over Nina's shoulder. "Sarah Linden? Sounds familiar." Nina nodded in agreement.

"Why do I always end up with stitches?"

"it's your specialty."

They both turned the corner where the rooms were. "Got sleep last night?"

"Don't I always?"

Marcy cocked her head. "Come on Nina. You blinkin' like your eyes need constant reminder to even be open."

"I'm fine, Mar. I just drank too much caffeine right before going to bed. You know how that is."

Marcy nodded her head, not quite convinced of her friends explanation.

Nina opened her file as Marcy followed her into the room. "Hello, Ms. Linden my name is-"

"Christina?" Nina froze then shuddered. She could feel all the hairs on her body stand as she slowly looked up. "Shit it is you...How's it go? It's been awhile." The room stayed quiet once he finished his sentence.

The strawberry blonde that Nina assumed was Sarah Linden looked back and forth between Holder and the nurse. She narrowed her eyes at Holder before speaking up. "Uh, would it be possible for us to hurry, we're kind of in a rush." Nina snapped her eyes to the woman sitting on the table. She held a towel to her left forearm. It was soaked with blood.

"Of course." She felt a hand on her back.

"Maybe I should take over."

"No it's okay. I got it. You can go, Mar." She gave a weak smile to Marcy before turning back to the patient. _Ignore him. Just ignore him._ "how bad is the pain, Ms. Linden? On a scale from one to ten." She placed the file by the desktop set up in the corner of the room and grabbed a pair of latex gloves.

"About a six, eight if I move my wrist. Feels like the skins being pulled."

Nina nodded. "Okay. Any allergies?" She avoided the man's eyes not wanting to get sucked in. _Not again._

"No. Just the common seasonal."

Nina sat in front on Sarah and started to peal back the towel. The cut wasn't deep to be vital but wasn't shallow where it would heal as fast. She got to work quickly not wanting to be there any longer then she needed to be. She was already anxious of the eyes that bore into the side of her skull. He would not let up.

She did her routine before finally looking up at Sarah. "Mind me asking how you got sliced?"

"Someone tryna' run away." The tall man leaned up against the glass wall, biting the inside of his cheek. "But Linden got the best of him, ain't that right." He rubbed his bottom lip with his middle finger and studied Nina's reaction.

Her green eyes met his brown and time seem to blur. "You tiny chicks pack a hell of a punch."

Sarah glared at Holder. They were on a time schedule and he decided to distract the nurse with...whatever this was. "Uh...Nurse would it be possible to hurry this up. We have to get going. We're investigation a missing persons and time is sensitive."

"Of course. I just don't want to rush so much where I mess up and your laceration gets infected...Then you have to come back and we have to do this all over again, except you're in more pain then you need to be and I need extract pus from your wound." Holder couldn't help but smile. That was the smart ass Nina he remembered years ago. The one that use to get under his skin and make his blood boil with a simple look. Linden seemed to enjoy her attitude as well.

"Gotcha."

Nina started to focus and stitch Sarah up with no further talking. This allowed Holder to find out some more information on Rosales and tell Linden. It couldn't have been Rosales. But he definitely saw something.

"You're all done Miss Linden. I can prescribe you some pain medication if you want." Nina finished wiping the extra blood off of Sarah's arm then placing a gauze on top of the wound and taping it secure.

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"No problem." She pushed off of the chair and cleaned up quickly. As she walked out Holder followed.

"Hey, could we talk real quick." He gently touched her upper arm.

"About what?" Her tone came off harsher than intended. She stripped her hands of the gloves and threw them in the trash.

"Uh...Maybe we could get tea or somethin'? Catch up and shit." Stephen scratched the side of his face and looked down at her.

Nina looked up at him and opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her hands started to sweat.

"Listen I know we didn't leave off on the best note, but I think we should talk. Whenever you want...Here." He ripped a piece of paper towel off of a nearby cleaning cart and took a pen from the nursing station and scribbled his number down before handing it to her. "Just, uh, just call whenever okay. I'll pick up. Promise." He smiled weakly.

She sighed and accepted it. She looked at the messy numbers before stuffing the paper towel in her scrubs front pocket. "Tea? Since when did you start drinking tea?"

He breathed out a laugh. "Yeah, I've been tryna' cleanse my body of toxins. This," He gestured at himself, lengthwise. "Is my temple. Gotta treat it right, ya know."

She couldn't help but let out a small giggle. She hated this trance he had her in. It was almost jarring how calm he was to see her.

"You do look really good, Chris. You look alive, ya' know." His jaw twitched as he closed his mouth.

Before she could say anything Linden walked out shrugging on her jacket.

"We have to go. Richmond's only waiting till noon remember." She nodded once to Nina. "Thank you by the way."

"No problem. Be back in a week for a check up."

Nina made her way past them and headed straight for the staff bathroom. She punched in the code with shaky fingers before busting through the door and falling to the floor. She waited for the door to clicked shut before her eyes started to sting and her chest tightened.

 _Why did she have such shit luck? Why was she crying right now? Why did she feel like she was hit by a car? Why did her heart hurt so much?_

"Stay strong Chris. Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong. Be fucking strong." she brought the heels of her hands to her eyes and rubbed as hard as she could. "You're strong." She pulled herself up using the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. "You're strong, Christina. You've got control over your own life." She slapped her cheeks lightly and ran the cold water to wet her face. Ten minutes. That's how much time it always took to compose herself. After her breathing steadied she unlocked the door and walked out with a cold face. Just a couple more hours and she could go home. Or maybe Marcy would go get a drink with her. She could use one after today. After seeing him.


End file.
